These are our stories.
Siena Ayers:
My name is Siena Ayers. I have been through a lot, I don't want to get too down into detail but I have many different disorders, mostly due to my parents divorce and being moved around a lot. I had a rough childhood and have finally reached a point in my life where I have the stability that every child needs. I lost my cousin due to domestic violence which has hurt me and my family tremendously. I have self harmed for 5 years and have been clean since October 25th, 2012. I have multiple disorders and have been hospitalized 3 times. I have had issue with eating disorders and my self esteem. I have anxiety and have had panic attack many times. I was clinically depressed for about 3 years. I have ADHD, OCD, and ODD. Which cause me a lot of stress and I tend to correct people without meaning it. I have been bullied many many times. I had tried to commit suicide countless times and was hospitalized a few times because of it. I have found my way out of these bad situations through music. I would give my life for the band Farewell, My Love. They have guided me back onto the right path with music and words of inspiration. The lead singer and I have a special connection and because of him I am eternally grateful.
Emma-Lee:
Briana:
After I over came my self harm problems I started to draw and paint while listening to music to help me out; talking to close friends helps me a lot too. Music like Farewell, My Love and Demi Lovato have helped me through a lot. I have these tattoos on each wrist to remind myself that I am strong, to remind myself to stay strong, to remind myself that I am worthy of life. I have been staying strong since October 11th, 2013.
Falon:
"I am diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and bipolar 1 disorder. And this is how I've dealt with it. Growing up, I always had anxiety. In kindergarten through seventh grade I had been diagnosed with Separation Anxiety. Well, I for sure had anxiety, but it was something worse. I stopped going to counseling for a bit, and I stopped taking my medicine I had took all my life for Separation Anxiety.. That wasn't such a swell idea. I got into a pretty bad thing. From there on out I had to hide what I've done to myself.. I had begun self-harming... I wore bracelets, longsleeves, and almost anything to hide the marks. But people started finding out at school. I got called a freak, cutter, emo, stupid, and etc. I got asked questions a lot such as "Why would you do that to yourself?" But I honestly didn't know how to answer. I dont know what in my mind made me to decide to do it. I lost all my friends at that time. They didn't understand me or like me anymore. I was left alone. And one day all the bullying got to me. I wrote a note to my family and decided I was going to end my own life. I've thought of this many times but that night was the night. I had music playing. My phone was on shuffle. Right when I was about to end myself.. A song from my favorite band came on. "I Am Bulletproof" by the Black Veil Brides. I stopped right in my tracks and threw away the note and sat and though for a long time. This wasn't the answer. Suicide is never the answer and it never will be. I thought to myself, "I am better, I am stronger than this." Andy Biersack's lyrics spoke to me that night. They practically saved me. I wouldn't say that Black Veil Brides saved me, but the lead singer's lyrics helped. A LOT. After all that, I told my mother what I've done and whatnot. She put me back in counseling and I was then diagnosed with Bipolar 1. I was put on medicine again and my life started to clear up. I realized life was a good thing and I needed to move on from my past. Now I'm self-harm free and I plan on staying that way. I've had many struggles with mental illnesses, but I got through them. And you can too. Yeah, it was hard going through all of this, but I got better. Put your mind to what you want to do and do it. I wanted to get better. So I did."
Laurie:
Hi everyone my name is Laurie I am Falon's mom and this is my story. Falon was diagnosed in April of 2013 with bipolar 1 (mixed) disorder. I wasn't surprised as she has suffered with anxiety and depression since age 6. Do I wish I could take it away? Of course I do. No good Mom wants their child to suffer. What I didn't know was that she was self harming, because she was suffering. My first reaction when I found out? I snapped and no I'm not proud of that. It was gut reaction for me because I was scared to death. Next came the why's. Why is my child that I love more than anything in the world hurting herself? Her answer, to ease the pain in my heart and my head Mom. Thanks to bullies and ignorant people my kid felt like and outcast, a misfit. Next on my part came the feeling of failure. How did I not see this? Is this my fault? Her answer, no Mom, its never because of you. That moment I reached the lowest point of my life and decided no matter what it took, including leaving my job, my kid would get better, she would get strong, and I would and still do anything I can for her. Its been a little over a year since she's harmed herself and I'm so proud of her. For a long time I was alone in this battle. My so called friends stopped talking to me and would look at us like we were freaks. At the time I was so hurt. Now I couldn't care less they aren't worthy of me or my kid. Through music I've met new moms and new kids and I consider them as the ones that will always have our backs and will never let us down. Am I afraid of triggers for her? Absolutely but I'm with her every step of the way because I am her Mom, her rock, and quite simply I love her <3